No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
