I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
