Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
