I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
