how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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