You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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