Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
