You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
