she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize