We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
