You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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