how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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