Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
