Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize