First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
