i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Randomize
