exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
