oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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