I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
