whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
