i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
