Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
