in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
