Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
