Banned from zoo.
Again?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
