I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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