My pussy is not your playground.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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