So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
