he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Let's paint friendship bongs
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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