whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
