Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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