I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Randomize
