whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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