Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.

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(503): View more from Oregon

i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.

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(559): View more from California

He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.

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(530): View more from California

i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome

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(308): View more from Nebraska

This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...

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