Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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