I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
