I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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