Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
