I bet he comes in French.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
