He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
