dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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