evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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