I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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