The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize