I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
