She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
