I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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