lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
