eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
handjob tips. give me some.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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