if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
