I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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