The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
