if only i could text you this smell
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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