pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
