It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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