I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
