She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
