I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
