i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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