Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
