I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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