why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
