I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
