every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
