we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
