So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
