I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
