Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
