Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
