everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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