I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
