This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
