from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
