It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize