i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
